“If you’ve been made to feel like you have to get your terminology straight before you fully acknowledge your assault, the rapist is maybe never going to be held accountable. Bogging us down in that ‘is it really rape’ conundrum? That’s a tool of rape culture. If you feel like you were violated, you were. If you feel like you were raped, you were. He didn’t listen to your no. He wore you down. His actions are shameful, not yours. You have nothing to feel guilty about. I’m so sorry he didn’t listen. It’s not your fault." - Stefanie
"You do what makes you feel healthy. When a similar thing happened to me, I got a little too worried about defining my experience to others, when I should have just been worried about myself. And please talk to a counselor or someone you trust about the situation — but someone who will just listen and support you!" - Sarah
“First, having had similar experiences, I understand the shame and guilt you’re feeling. When your body has been violated in some way (and it has), you want there to be a way that the horrible thing could not have happened, and if you think you could’ve possibly done something to prevent it, maybe the feelings of disgust and anger you’re feeling about the event—the rape—turn inward.
But here’s the thing, brave girl: you DID do something. You said ‘NO.’ You said it again. And again. And he didn’t listen.
I understand that in our culture, where politicians talk about ‘rape and not-rape,’ that it can feel like a gray area if you weren’t screaming that ‘NO’ until the very end. But, my love, that’s bullshit. I don’t know how big he was, or how well you knew him, or if he used physical force, but I know that when you ‘eventually went along with it,’ you felt that you had no other option, and that you were protecting yourself. You have to decide what is best for you, in terms of whether you report something like this, but look yourself in the mirror, and let that guilt go, lovey. Coercion is not consent. He is the only one who should feel ashamed." - Jill
Anonymous: I wish I could write my story here but there is not enough space. I am having trouble deciphering whether it counts as rape if you allow the guy to have sex with you even though you don't want him to. I told him no a bunch of times but he was persistent and I eventually just went along with it. I feel traumatized by it, but I feel guilty because I allowed it to happen, and he has no idea that I view the experience as rape. I think it is rape but sometimes I'm not sure. I feel ashamed and guilty.
"I have two daughters, so I’m raising two future women. Maybe! I mean, one of them might be a guy later. It’s possible. It could happen. Someday one of my daughters could be like ‘Dad, I’m really a guy’ and I’ll be like ‘Alright well let’s get you a dick, honey. We’ll get you the nicest dick in town.’"
Louis CK (reason #94826 why he’s the best comedian)
Somewhere along the way, Louis CK become society’s ideal father and I’m 100% okay with this.